Helping Kids Name Big Emotions Without Shame
Big feelings can be scary — not just for kids, but for grownups too.
When a child yells, slams a door, or melts into tears after what seems like “nothing,” it’s easy to focus on the behavior. But underneath the outburst is often a swirl of feelings with no name. And without language, emotions don’t go away — they just stay stuck.
At The Healing Playroom, we believe naming the feeling is the first step to healing it. And when kids are met with empathy instead of shame, their emotional vocabulary — and self-trust — begins to grow.
Why Naming Emotions Matters
The part of the brain that feels emotions develops long before the part that verbalizes them. That’s why kids often act out what they don’t yet have words for.
Giving kids the language for what they’re feeling:
Calms the nervous system
Builds emotional literacy
Increases trust between child and caregiver
Reduces shame
It helps them understand: “I’m not bad. I’m just feeling something big — and someone sees me.”
How to Help Kids Identify Big Feelings
Here are a few gentle ways to build that emotional toolbox at home:
🧸 Use Play as a Mirror
Play is a child’s native language.
Try: “That dinosaur looks really mad. What happened to him?”
Let the toy carry the emotion — and let your child project their story through it.
📚 Make Emotions Visual
Use books, faces, or colors to represent feelings.
Try: “This crayon feels like your mood today — which one would you pick?”
Tools like feeling charts or printable wheels can give shape to the shapeless.
💬 Model Your Own Feelings Out Loud
Children learn through imitation.
Try: “I’m feeling frustrated, so I’m going to take a deep breath.”
Normalize emotions. No feeling is too big when there’s a safe adult to hold it.
What to Say When Feelings Show Up
Instead of “You’re fine,” try:
“It’s okay to feel sad.”
“Your feelings are real.”
“I’m here with you.”
Instead of “Calm down,” try:
“Let’s breathe together.”
“Want a hug, or some space?”
“Do you need to move, talk, or rest?”
A Final Word
There is no such thing as a bad emotion — only unspoken ones.
When we help kids name what’s happening inside, we’re not just calming a moment — we’re building lifelong emotional strength.
You don’t need to have all the answers.
You just need to show up — gently, curiously, and without judgment.
And that’s enough.
🔗 Need support?
Our play therapists are here to help your child find their voice — one feeling at a time.
